On St. Patrick's Day...

The PubScout has some surprising news.

While there are few boyos who enjoy an Irish pub more than I do, the headline is that I do not frequent them on St. Patty's Day. It's not because the fiddle doesn't thrill me; it does. It's not because real Irish Step-Dancers aren't fascinating; they are. And it's surely not because the sound of a bagpipe playing Danny Boy doesn't bring a tear to my eye; it does.

The real reason I don't frequent an Irish pub--or any other pub-- on St. Patty's Day is that there are too many amateurs out drinking who lose sight of what the day is about. March 17 is not, and should not be, an orgiastic festival of drunken revelry. It should be a day which celebrates brotherhood, conviviality, song, pleasant thoughts and reverence to a higher power. And not the power that has in its ingredients the ability to coax a bloke into debauched tomfoolery, if not lay him low entirely.

That's why The PubScout has a St. Patty's Day tradition that has remained unbroken for more than two decades. This tradition requires:

1. A good Irish beer. For some suggestions, go here. or pick up some Flying Fish Exit 9.
2. As many of your family as are available, especially the little ones. But even if they're no longer little, they should be there.
3. A DVD or movie of the Walt Disney Classic "Darby O'Gill and The Little People."
4. Your snack of choice.

Pour the beer into the pint glasses of those old enough to drink it. The little ones can have Seven-Up or Sprite, made more festive by green food coloring. Spread out the snacks. Turn off the lights. Turn the DVD on, and enjoy the experience. Especially marvel at the youthful appearance of Sean Connery. Laugh at the antics of King Brian of Knocknasheega. Try to determine if the female lead is not blind. Quake before The Banshee! Resist the temptation to shoot Pony Sugrue. And his mother. And of course, take Darby into your heart. And buy him a denture.

And, when it's over, try not to sing, "Oh, she's my dear my darling one, her eyes so sparkling like the sun, I love the ground she walks upon--my pretty Irish girl!"

I have the DVD, the family (most of it anyway) and the snacks. I just need to go out and get the beer.

Because it wouldn't be a St. Patty's Day without that.

Cheers! The PubScout