You send a child off to college in the hope that he or she will find a satisfying, respectable, legal mission in life--one that hopefully will allow them to put food and beverage back IN the refrigerator after they graduate, while allowing enough to pay for your assisted living care.
And what do they do? They send you information like this.
Which will not, admittedly, do any of those things above.
But it did bring a smile to my face. H/T to son Kazzy for finding these gems. Now hit the books, lad.
Assisted living isn't getting any cheaper.